tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post716628845215894360..comments2009-11-14T16:19:35.598-08:00Comments on AdoptaPundit: "Safeguarding the Rights and Well-Being of *****parents"BronzeByGoldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014329861970655308noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-26852149470503268112006-11-19T23:29:00.000-08:002006-11-19T23:29:00.000-08:00ankara sends an email response to AdoptaPundit:
T...ankara sends an email response to AdoptaPundit:<br /><br />To: Donaldson Adoption Institute<br /><br />Re: SAFEGUARDING THE RIGHTS AND WELL-BEING OF BIRTHPARENTS<br />IN THE ADOPTION PROCESS<br /><br />Greetings,<br /><br />I cannot accept your thesis that informed consent merely requires the presentation of 'all' options. One cannot consent to 'birth-motherhood' without actually experiencing one's unfettered motherhood. That is, no<br />adoption can take place under informed consent until and unless the mother has experienced the process of becoming a mother in an equal and honorable process as any other mother.<br /><br />Infant-adoption should only be considered after the mother-child dyad has been well established via breast feeding and 'bonding' - no other situation can be grounds for a fully informed consent.<br /><br />NO ONE can 'give away' something they do not possess. A pregnancy is<br />NOT a son or daughter. Failure to comprehend this fact is the loophole where unintended mothers are most vulnerable. Your theory fails to acknowledge the fact that most if not every mother who has entered her own full experience of motherhood (with each of her offspring) is highly unlikely to<br />consider voluntary separation from her child. There can be no ethical<br />or moral adoption-plan - to present such an abomination as a reasonable alternative to a pregnancy termination is unconscionable.<br /><br />Sincerely<br />(identifying information removed)BronzeByGoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16014329861970655308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-78241548694516981672006-11-19T14:30:00.000-08:002006-11-19T14:30:00.000-08:00wish...but our legislature has proclaimed its inte...wish...but our legislature has proclaimed its intent to promote even more adoptions.I have been working there for nearly 15 years on this stuff.One legislator even referred to the agencies as 'these good people'...I guess he thought they worked for nothing.."saving babies"..<br /><br /><br />Do their constituents understand that the crimes comitted against us can be comitted agaunst them , their daughters and their granddaughters?<br /><br />All politics is local.<br /><br /><br />Adoption lobbyists are one thing, popular disapproval of people who might steal MY baby is another.BronzeByGoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16014329861970655308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-75330795210317067762006-11-19T14:27:00.000-08:002006-11-19T14:27:00.000-08:00I will be interested to see if the adoption indust...I will be interested to see if the adoption industry and associated pro-adoption organizations actually ACT on the recommendations made in this report.<br /><br /><br /><br />they will act on it by ginning up a set of recommendations that are going to be really easy for them to work around.<br /><br />we need to write a set of recommendations that won't be easy to work around and that will have an impressive set of teeth in them.BronzeByGoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16014329861970655308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-70903101389268307982006-11-19T14:24:00.000-08:002006-11-19T14:24:00.000-08:00"stiff fines and jail time'
If the protections ar..."stiff fines and jail time'<br /><br />If the protections are to be meaningful, it needs to be clearly specified in the law what happens when the guidelines are not followed. Fines, jail time, voiding of the surrender papers.<br /><br />There needs to be a reporting mechanism that a woman can initiate on her own. There also needs to be a way to investigate her claim. An ombudsman perhaps.BronzeByGoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16014329861970655308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-65997068863122703462006-11-19T14:19:00.000-08:002006-11-19T14:19:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.BronzeByGoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16014329861970655308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-78252305902316793852006-11-19T13:57:00.000-08:002006-11-19T13:57:00.000-08:00I will be interested to see if the adoption indust...I will be interested to see if the adoption industry and associated pro-adoption organizations actually ACT on the recommendations made in this report. "Open" adoption was thrown out as a crumb after some cages were rattled in the past. Now, there are more moms speaking out, more attention has been garnered by Ann Fessler's book, and I have to wonder if this is another attempt at placation without addressing the main issue of prevention and original family preservation. <br /><br />I appreciate this step being taken, but I am holding my applause until I see some results and more aadvances. There is too much left unaddressed and then there is my own little "fingernails on the chalkboard irritant," the "b" word. <br /><br />I also feel that the abuses of the Baby Scoop Era still are unaddressed and that is something that MUST happen. There are millions of mothers and adopted people that need to hear someone say, "It was wrong and we are sorry and it won't happen again."<br /><br />Ah well, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step as some wise guy once said. This is more than we had before.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07580241881953821182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-56280148106791972592006-11-19T10:39:00.000-08:002006-11-19T10:39:00.000-08:00"stiff fines and jail time'
I wish...but our legi..."stiff fines and jail time'<br /><br />I wish...but our legislature has proclaimed its intent to promote even more adoptions.I have been working there for nearly 15 years on this stuff.One legislator even referred to the agencies as 'these good people'...I guess he thought they worked for nothing.."saving babies"..<br /><br />The whole business is corrupt.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-78210607095163406362006-11-19T10:30:00.000-08:002006-11-19T10:30:00.000-08:00I also agree with leslie...total secrecy is still ...I also agree with leslie...total secrecy is still common. And many so-called open adoptions only involve pictures/letters sent to an agency when the adopters feel like it...if they do.And "meetings" between adopters and parents are usually on a first name basis only.It is just a new kind of secrecy....a controlled kind of secrecy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-64146684308607517962006-11-19T01:04:00.000-08:002006-11-19T01:04:00.000-08:00Quoting:
"Finally, the Evan B.Donaldson Institute ...Quoting:<br />"Finally, the Evan B.Donaldson Institute recognizes what we have been saying for three decades now: <br /><i>The Institute also concludes that total secrecy has become rare in current infant adoption practice, and it is considered poor practice for everyone concerned by a growing majority of professionals. So-called closed (or confidential) adoption, in which there is little or no contact or exchange of information, is actually a relatively recent phenomenon that became prevalent in the U.S. by the 1950s. The body of research on birthmothers who relinquished children for adoption in the era of total secrecy chronicles a negative, long-term impact of this experience on many areas of their lives, including triggering chronic, severe grief reactions and contributing to ongoing complications in future parenting and marriage relationships.</i>"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I also take issue with the contradiction in the Institute's conclusion that total secrecy has become rare. If the growing majority of professionals considered total secrecy poor practice for everyone then someone needs to explain the popularity of International adoption which by it's very nature are closed secret adoptions. Mother's grief is not limited to national borders. <br /><br />Leslie BAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-61783081014915687822006-11-18T23:50:00.000-08:002006-11-18T23:50:00.000-08:00"but they are not enforced "
Stiff fines and jail..."but they are not enforced "<br /><br />Stiff fines and jail time.<br /><br /><br />"and the agencies can still come up with manipulative materials and techniques."<br /><br />This we should expect. We need to develop our own materials.<br /><br /><br />"Coercion can come from the mothers own family as well, and churches are also "good" at dumping on pregnant mothers." <br /><br /><br />If churches are dumping on women,( and I know they are, they dumped on me) they should be held to the same standards as agnecies and be prosecuted under the same laws as agencies.<br /><br /><br /><br />"I really think this kind of treatment is a form of harrassment and abuse and should be considered as such..and these mothers need more protection...not just fair counseling."<br /><br /><br />I couldn't agree more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31316998.post-43561115397834887942006-11-18T20:28:00.000-08:002006-11-18T20:28:00.000-08:00I live in a "required counseling state' and I work...I live in a "required counseling state' and I worked on a task force for 3 years to write rules and regulations for agencies. We have in place, many of the recommendations but they are not enforced and the agencies can still come up with manipulative materials and techniques.(I have seen them)<br />Coercion can come from the mothers own family as well, and churches are also "good" at dumping on pregnant mothers. I really think this kind of treatment is a form of harrassment and abuse and should be considered as such..and these mothers need more protection...not just fair counseling.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com